Don't be fooled by me.
Don't be fooled by the face I wear.
For I wear a mask. I wear a thousand masks-
masks that I'm afraid to take off & none of them are me.
Pretending is an art that's second nature with me
but don't be fooled, for God's sake, don't be fooled.

I give you the impression that I'm secure,
that all is sunny & unruffled with me
within as well as without,
that confidence is my name & coolness my game,
that the water's calm & I'm in command, & that I need no one.
But don't believe me. Please!

My surface may be smooth but my surface is my mask,
My ever-varying & ever-concealing mask.
Beneath lies no smugness, no complacence.
Beneath dwells the real me in confusion, in fear, in aloneness.
But I hide this.
I don't want anybody to know it.

I panic at the thought of my weaknesses & fear exposing them.
That's why I frantically create my masks to hide behind.
They're nonchalant, sophisticated facades to help me pretend,
To shield me from the glance that knows.
But such a glance is precisely my salvation,
my only salvation, & I know it.

That is, if it's followed by acceptance,
& if it's followed by love.
It's the only thing that can liberate me from myself,
from my own self-built prison walls.

I dislike hiding, honestly.
I dislike the superficial game I'm playing,
the superficial phony game.
I'd really like to be genuine & me.
But I need your help, your hand to hold
Even though my masks would tell you otherwise
That glance from you is the only thing that assures me
of what I can't assure myself,
that I'm really worth something.

But I don't tell you this.
I don't dare.
I'm afraid to.
I'm afraid you'll think less of me, that you'll laugh
& your laugh would kill me.
I'm afraid that deep-down I'm nothing,
that I'm just no good
& you will see this and reject me.

So I play my game, my desperate, pretending game
With a facade of assurance without,
& a trembling child within.
So begins the parade of masks,

The glittering but empty parade of masks,
& my life becomes a front.
I idly chatter to you in suave tones of surface talk.
I tell you everything that's nothing
& nothing of what's everything,
of what's crying within me.

So when I'm going through my routine
do not be fooled by what I'm saying
Please listen carefully & try to hear what I'm not saying
Hear what I'd like to say but what I can not say.

It will not be easy for you,
long felt inadequacies make my defenses strong.
The nearer you approach me,
the blinder I may strike back.
Despite what books say of men, I am irrational;
I fight against the very thing that I cry out for.
you wonder who I am, you shouldn't,
for I am everyman & everywoman who wears a mask.

Don't be fooled by me.
At least not by the face I wear.

Labels: :/, emo

Welcome.
This is my blog,
I have the rights to type what I want.
If you dislike me &/or my blog, SHOO [:

Kindly do not rip anything off.
Tag before you leave (;
Have a nice day!


visitors since 27thDec`o8

Leennn
Born on the 24thFebruary`92,
presents appreciated :X

Singing ♫♪ is her passion ♥
Can be diplomatic when she
find it worth being towards
people who are realistic.

She's AzureLeen,
GM of Reminiscence guild
in the EriDelp server of Msea
Also can be found wandering
in AngelCradle, itsLEEN & xFLURRY

Xinmin Primary
XPSprefect, XPSgb, XPSchoir, XPSmathsclub, XPSnetball

SengKang Secondary
SKYcouncillor, SKYchoir

Temasek Polytechnic
Leisure & Resort Management - 1ko1
2k07(yr2.1), 2k06(yr2.2), 3k03(yr3.2)
Adventure Club, Choir

HerFamily
HerClique
HerBesties
HerVIPs
Singing ♫♪
Hanging out with loved ones
Making videos
Playing the piano
HerSealPillow-ChiuChiu ♥
TAKO BALLS :D
Salmon :X
Freshly blanded orange juice
Camwhore-ing :D
Beautiful friendships
Mango shaved ice with sherbert & icecream
Iced milo :D
YoYo GiGi :DD!
HerChickChick-name not decided
the word Reminiscence
Mamegoma ♥!!
PokeMon LOL :D

Anyone getting hurt physically/emotionally caus of me :/
Broken promises :/
Vegetables ):
Hypocrite
People who kpkb
Following orders
Nightmares
Misunderstandings
Last minute stuffs
Horror movies ):

Desires fulfilled :D
-> Europe trip ♥ on the 6thNov`o8 :D
-> Visit ALL the Disneylands :D
-> Sealseal from More Than Words :D
-> Sony Vegas 8.0
-> CEH gathering :DD!
-> TP FOC :D! [6th-8th Apr`o9]
-> TP orientation :D! [16th-17th Apr`o9]
-> Lesser homework =X
-> A desktop :X To play LOLS
-> Go UnderWaterWorld :D [It's been long]
-> Date with salty-san :X
-> Date with bitter-san :X
-> Make 1k01 bond [; ★
-> Australia trip ♥ [16th-21st Dec`o9]
-> Wisdomasion`o6 gathering :]
-> New bag
-> A red tanktop (How random :o)
-> Know my 2k07(yr2.1) classmates
-> A microphone
-> Go to the Zoo :X [It's been long]
-> New wallet [Long one]
-> Buy 5 tops in a day [LOLS!]
-> Nintendo DS Lite/DSi
-> Go to HongKong again :D [1st-4th Oct`1o]
-> New glasses
-> Date with bland-san :X
-> Go KBOX~! :DD!
-> Know my 2k06(yr2.2) classmates -> Legend of the Seas Christmas Cruise [22nd-28th Dec`11]

Desires unfulfilled D:
-> Go dating with my clique :D [ALL] ★
-> See sour-san again ★
-> The best MMV maker using WMM x) ★
-> More new clothes, skirts :D
-> Be at least a 10-year choir member ★
-> A trip to Sydney
-> Go Star Cruise again :D!
-> Visit Disney Sea once there's more attractions
-> Visit Disney World ♥
-> Sit the Singapore flyer D:!
-> Watch the sunrise :]
-> Watch the sunset :]
-> Go for singing lessons at LWS School of Music!! ★
-> A pair of Left & Right canvas shoes
-> Visit Six Flags again :D
-> Learn how to use Sony Vegas 8.0 [;
-> Get Remi active & going again [; ★
-> Family bowling :X
-> Go ice skating ^^
-> Go skiing :D
-> Know all my French classmates :3
-> Know all my Music classmates :3
-> Getting the clique♥ tee
-> Asian Mullet Hairstyle
-> Acoustic Guitar
-> Know all my Co&co classmates :3
-> Go South Africa :D
-> Cruise to Alaska
-> Graduate!
-> Visit Maritime Experiential Museum & Aquarium (MEMA)
-> Visit Titanic Exhibit at MBS
-> Visit River Safari
-> Get a Havanese Puppy ★

★ = difficult to achieve :/
striked = giveup :/

Kindly tag with your name unless you find it disgraceful. & sadly, you'll be left to rot. :D

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Clique ♥♥
KaiYuan ♥♥
Pameline ♥♥
Priscilla ♥♥
Thendiana ♥♥
TzeKiat ♥♥
YeeLing ♥♥

Related Groups
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YiMei :D

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SengChoon
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Shannon
Shereen
Stephanie
Sylvia
Venecia
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YanYa
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ZhiYu
Zoraxsh

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Alicia`N
Alvin`Lam
Angela
Daryl`G
Ivan
JiaXun
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Basecodes : lovelies-
Inspirations : !dl♥ [2] The dandelion's promise
Scrolling Code: %PURPUR.black-
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